Comfort food

I think my husband loves me more when I make cakes!  He also likes it when I sew his trousers up and sew on missing buttons.  All the old-fashioned stuff - must take him back to his childhoold.

I've been making the following two cake/desserts lately and have had requests for the recipes so here you go.  Both can very easily be made gluten free.

Pear and Almond Flan
1 tbs brown sugar
150g butter
150g caster sugar
2 large eggs lightly beaten
150g almond meal
2 tbsp self-raising flour (use gluten free if you like to make gf)
2 tbsp blanched almonds
3 or 4 pears, skin on

Line a circular flan or cake tin 23cm in diameter with non-stick baking paper. Sprinkle brown sugar over the baking paper.

In a bowl, cream together butter and caster sugar to create creamy mixture. Lightly beat the eggs and add them to the mixture. Add almond meal and flour and mix well.

Cut the pears vertically, leaving the skin on and the stalk at end (I spoon out the pip and stalk from middle). Place the pieces decoratively down in the flan dish or cake tin, flat sides down. Fill the gaps with blanched almonds. Pour the cake mixture over the pears and almonds and press down.

Bake in preheated oven at 190c for 45 minutes or until the filling feels firm at the centre. Allow to cool. Ease the flan away from the edge of the dish with a knife. Place a large serving plate on top and turn over to reveal the very rustic pear side. Looks a treat. I serve with a dollop of Greek yogurt.


Hummingbird slice
¾ cup brown sugar
½ cup (125 ml) vegetable oil (I use olive oil)
2 eggs
½ cup crushed pineapple, drained
1 banana, mashed
1 cup grated carrot (about 2 carrots) – I usually end up with more than a cup and use all of it
¾ cup self-raising flour (I use gluten free to make gf but recipe is for normal)
½ teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
¼ cup shredded coconut
¼ cup chopped pecans


Preheat oven to 160c. Place the sugar, oil and eggs in bowl and whisk to combine. Add the pineapple, banana and carrot and mix to combine. Add the flour, bicarbonate of soda, cinnamon, coconut and pecans and mix to combine. Spoon into lightly greased 20cm x 30cm tin lined with baking power. Bake for 45 minutes (I find needs 55 minutes) or until cooked when tested with a skewer. Allow to cool in tin. Slice and serve with Greek yogurt and a drizzle of honey.

Sad times

It’s a big thing to lose a parent. My Dad died three weeks ago today and I am just emerging from the first onslaught of grief.
My father was such an amazingly zany personality it is hard to come to terms with him not being around anymore. Gavin Buchanan was the kind of person who could make any gathering totally come to life just with his presence. There was definitely some magic about my Dad, which meant my childhood was absolutely fantastic. My father was fun-loving and funny (although sometimes sad), a teaser, a joker, an opportunist, a dreamer, a talker of ‘big ideas’. He was handsome, dashing, creative, poetic, artistic, clever, unconventional, offbeat, unusual, dashing and smart but also naive...


Grief is a perplexing bundle of thoughts and feelings and I think each loss we have brings with it a different mix of emotions. There has been lots of ‘poor me’ stuff and some resentments to work through following my father’s death. For a little while my spiritual beliefs - particularly about the karmic accountability of our actions – also got a bit of a shake-up but I’ve come though all that. More recently I’ve been dwelling on the importance of family, on the progression of the generations (the song of long time flowing), and on my own mortality. I kind of like the notion of ‘going home’ one day to join all my family who have gone before me.


Interestingly I saw in the first week after Dad’s death an absolutely fascinating ABC ‘Australian Story ‘ episode about a harp player, Peter Roberts, who describes himself as a thanologist, one who plays music in hospitals to relax people at the end of their lives to allow them to let go and ‘go home’. Roberts is such a beautiful human being it made me cry (again) to listen to him talk about his own spirituality and the work he does to help the dying.


I have had been so lucky to have had lots of conversations and communications with friends and extended family in the past few weeks – including some friend I haven’t spoken to in many years. The lovely things that have been said about my Dad, and my Mum, and our family have validated how lucky I have been, and am, to have such a wonderful family and memories. Thank you to everyone who has been so kind to me.


Here’s one of the last pictures I took off my Dad in recent months - frail, sick and knowing he was dying but the spark of his personality is still very much there.

Goodbye dear Daddio!  I love you to bits. xxx

Regrets

My husband was in a total pickle this morning. The Australian dollar has taken a dive against the Euro. On Tuesday one Australian dollar was worth 72 Euros but this morning one Aussie dollar is only worth 65 cents. He meant to buy some Euros the other day for our overseas holiday but was too busy and now he is beating himself up with regret that he didn’t do it. Nothing I said seemed to make him feel better. He was in total angst.

Last week I went to visit my father in the Blue Mountains. He is very ill and frail and very unhappy. I contemplated his state of mind and wondered if some of it might have to do with regrets. After my mother died and he remarried we became a fractured family. I don’t think he meant it to be this way but it’s just how it ended up. He didn’t keep up the friendships or connections from his life with Mum and us either – but started a totally new life with his second wife. They have moved so much they don’t really have any friends close by. I think he’s lonely now. I suspect he has a lot of regrets. It breaks my heart to contemplate this.

When I get older (I know I’m old now but I guess I mean the usual average end-of-life type old) and reflect back on my life I don’t want to have a huge bundle of regrets. My vision for old age is one where hopefully there might be a certain satisfaction in looking back and thinking you’ve given it your best shot and learnt a bit of wisdom along the way. There will be joys and sorrows to contemplate and puzzle - and I know we can’t avoid having some regrets but I hope I won’t have too many. I also want to still be having robust relationships with my lovely family and the very many important friends I’ve made over the years.

My friend Peter said to me on the phone last night that watching his father die, taught him a thing or two about how to die. When my mother died I felt the same way – she kept on living right up until near the end and died with a lot of dignity. Peter’s father told him he was glad he had time to tie up loose ends and make amends for some of his wrongs he wanted righted. He was glad his exit wasn’t a heart attack or sudden dropping off the twig.

I’d like to imagine dying as being a time for some meaningful philosophical and spiritual contemplation and a time for some really satisfying conversations. A time for tears but for laughter too. I hope I’m not being too naive.

- And sorry this isn't my usual light and fluffy stuff... (and the photo is of a beautiful house in the Blue Mountains)

Good riddance to March

I haven't been blogging much as the last month has been a horror one. My daughter had an operation, my granddaughter had an operation and my father was diagnosed with two major illnesses.  It's been a month of angst, a few tears, sleepless nights, teeth grinding, stomach clenching and lots of self talk in an attempt to remain on top of things. I had a special herbal concoction made up at Goulds and it did calm me down - or at least got rid of that imminent heart attack feeling. It's a mixture of rose, lavender, caraway, peppermint, motherwort and blue flag.

My major diversionary activities lately haven’t been very creative but more in the form of Sudoku at airports, in planes and in hospital wards and a bit too much retail therapy. Yikes hope husband doesn't scrutinise the last credit card bill too closely!

I am so glad April is now here and we somehow all got through. Once again I have learnt the lessons that one really does cope somehow, that just as day follows night, good times follow bad times, sunshine follows rain, and that catastrophising is a really bad trait I really do need to keep a handle on.

Easter has been a very welcome break, back into the garden again after too long letting it go.  It was nice to pick a giant pumpkin out of the vegie patch today. And this weekend I've been sewing again too.  Made a red linen skirt with a pocket made from the floral linen scrap I bought at Bellingen. I am really happy with it.  Not sure how much more sewing I will do though - I am craving a new creative outlet.  Might get back to the mosaicing...

Happy Easter.

Planning the big trip

All my spare time now is consumed by trip planning and booking for our trip to Europe in September - October.  So much fun - nearly as much fun I am sure in the planning and preparation as in the doing.  Will husband and I be able to climb five flights of steps to the magical Roman apartment with the amazing courtyard and bedroom view of a fabulous ancient building?  I have visions of myself as fabulously fit, walking everywhere on this holiday - able to devour a gelato a day easy without creating more love handles!  Hopefully. Today I did an international bank transfer (scary stuff) for the gorgeous little stone farmhouse in south west Dordogne area which will be our home for a week in October.  Slowly slowly like a jigsaw puzzle the trip is coming together.  Should we buy our euros now or wait for the currency rate to keep improving in our favour?  But enough - you aren't coming and this is probably boring you.

Here's a pic of a bag I made on Sunday.  Now that I am not making so much it took me a while to sew it.  I felt almost rusty but it turned out okay.  I have so many bags now.  Off home to visit Izzie now, who has had a grommet operation today. I have a pull along talking dog to give her and loads of nana kisses. 

And hey wonders will never cease - this phoneaphob has bought a mobile phone today.  Guy in the shop was a bit shocked when I chose one  soquickly by colour alone and not by its functions or any other fancy features etc.

Not creating anything yet...

I am beginning to regret saying I was taking this year off sewing for markets.  Nads at work went to the new Barn market at Rosny on the weekend and said it was great.  I felt a little pang of regret I am not madly sewing towards a market.  Maybe when the weather cools down a bit...

So what have I been doing with my spare time so far in 2010.  Here's the list under my paperweight: 

• Getting in as many swims as possible before the cooler weather starts.
• Planning for our big overseas trip - forever online looking at wonderful destinations in Santorini, Rome, Florence, the Cinque de Terre, Nice, Dordogne, Portugal and Paris.  Will we stay in a convent in Rome or Florence? Where in the south of France will we rent a villa?  Such hard decisions.
• Trying to decide which window treatments to get to make our sunroom warmer this winter.  We are getting a green loan to get better window coverings, a new solar water heater, plus new false ceilings and insulation in a couple of rooms.  I saw a furnishing shop in Kingston advertising window covering choices for energy efficiency and I thought  this was smart advertising as a couple of places I have been into in town didn't know what I was on about..
• Clutter clearing (I am not really but I thought if I wrote this it might get me back into it - as I was on such a high before Christmas when I was).  This is my 'Fake it till you make it' philosophy!
• Spending as much time as I can with little Izzie Bizzie who seems to like being babysat by her Nana Lee now.
• Trying hard to not do any 'shop bothering' or spending as we are saving for our big trip.
• Admiring my husband who has become a 'step counter extraordinaire' - forever out there walking the streets with his pedometer on.  He has lost heaps of weight and is looking and feeling terrific.  I need to join him more often...
• Gathering herbs from my splendiferous vegie garden and watching the apples grow on the apple trees.
• Trying to remember to breathe out more deeply more often.  Doing it now..... Woosh. A big out breath to get rid of some stress, which has been accumulating lately.
• Putting ice cubes in my white wine (Shauna's advice) so I drink less.  An extra bonus - the glass tinkles nicely.

Too good to be true really

This really does have to be the best Hobart summer I have ever experienced.  A great long weekend - more swimming, my suntan got another little top-up and we had lots of great outings. 

Saturday was a trip to Middleton Fair, which was very hokey and fun  - bought lots of nice fresh vegies and exotic jams. Later we had dinner at friends discussing European travel plans for later in the year.  Sunday was a trip to Eagle Hawk Neck for a special bookclub occasion at Louise's lovely house in the hills - Blowhole fish and chips, a Pirates Bay walk, swim and ice cream.  I know I was relaxed because sitting on Louise's deck aferwards in the late late afternoon I felt like I could have happily sat there for hours more, idly chatting and watching night fall over the water.

Today was brunch at Peppermint Bay with my daughter, adorable grand-daughter (I can't kiss her enough) son-in-law and hublet.  Alan and I had a swim at Coningham Beach on the way home, which really is a very picturesque spot.  This afternoon I was beaten again at scrabble with my aunt Cissy - but it does make her happy to win - so I don't really mind losing.  (I lie - a win again might be nice!)

Life is a tricky one - we have lots of family issues at the moment simmering away below the surface, niggling worries about health issues for the senior folk in our clan and a few issues for some of the youngest ones too - I guess both groups are always the most vulnerable.  But I am trying to grasp the moment and appreciate life as it comes day by day.  Feel like I am succeeding although sleeptime is revealing.  I am waking with a sore jaw from teeth clenching.  We are complex creatures... 

Below is a pic of ust one of the intriguing collections in a little corner of Louise's home.  She's not a gal who is into 'clutter clearing' but openly admits to very selective 'clutter gathering'.  She's building a shed to house her collections!